I got married at 21, my husband was 31 (he'd been a friend of the family's for a couple years, then we spent three years in a relationship before tying the knot). There were some unique challenges; I think the first couple years of married life were an easier adjustment for me than for him, because he'd spent his 20s living alone. And yes, we've both absolutely changed in that amount of time, but because we love each other and we've both stayed committed to the marriage, those changes have happened together.
And now I'm 32, he's 43, we have three kids. No regrets.
Something I didn't see you touch on-- My youngest child is four years old, and the only pregnancy I've had since her ended in miscarriage. We haven't gotten pregnant in the nearly two years since that happened...I'm really glad that I spent my 20s married and having babies, because it looks like our bodies might not be fertile anymore. If I had gotten married at this point (which, for my age, seems to be the one everyone says is 'responsible'), there's a legitimate chance I wouldn't have been able to have children.
so valid! yes, we didn’t include family planning much in this piece.
we wanted to make sure the emphasis was more on: once you have found the person you think you will marry, should age be a discerning factor? instead of encouragement to try to get married at a certain age.
I so relate to the tension of wanting to “wait until everything is perfect” versus trusting God with what He’s already placed in your life. I loved how you acknowledged that no one is ever fully prepared emotionally, financially, or spiritually, and that marriage isn’t about perfection, it’s about commitment, adaptability, and growing together! It’s refreshing to see a marriage celebrated as both sacred and delightfully human.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience of that tension! It’s sometimes subtle: the difference between prudence and control and perfectionism. 🧡🙏
I got married at 21, my husband was 31 (he'd been a friend of the family's for a couple years, then we spent three years in a relationship before tying the knot). There were some unique challenges; I think the first couple years of married life were an easier adjustment for me than for him, because he'd spent his 20s living alone. And yes, we've both absolutely changed in that amount of time, but because we love each other and we've both stayed committed to the marriage, those changes have happened together.
And now I'm 32, he's 43, we have three kids. No regrets.
Something I didn't see you touch on-- My youngest child is four years old, and the only pregnancy I've had since her ended in miscarriage. We haven't gotten pregnant in the nearly two years since that happened...I'm really glad that I spent my 20s married and having babies, because it looks like our bodies might not be fertile anymore. If I had gotten married at this point (which, for my age, seems to be the one everyone says is 'responsible'), there's a legitimate chance I wouldn't have been able to have children.
so valid! yes, we didn’t include family planning much in this piece.
we wanted to make sure the emphasis was more on: once you have found the person you think you will marry, should age be a discerning factor? instead of encouragement to try to get married at a certain age.
congratulations to both of you, love the photos! after 30.5 years of marriage, yes, things continue to change.
I so relate to the tension of wanting to “wait until everything is perfect” versus trusting God with what He’s already placed in your life. I loved how you acknowledged that no one is ever fully prepared emotionally, financially, or spiritually, and that marriage isn’t about perfection, it’s about commitment, adaptability, and growing together! It’s refreshing to see a marriage celebrated as both sacred and delightfully human.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience of that tension! It’s sometimes subtle: the difference between prudence and control and perfectionism. 🧡🙏